I return my whim (Devuelvo mi albedrío)

This poem makes me reflect on regret and makes me think of the things I have done in life and wish I could erase from my memories or do them over. From my Dad’s book The celebrated afternoon (La tarde festejada).

I return my whim (Devuelvo mi albedrío)

A whim, poor illusion,

reason implicated

in the darkness

of wicked restrictions.

You whim, you take the

wrong ways, you who walk and

go back over roads

that do not take me

to calm places,

inhospitable site

where hope dies,

false freedom.

Whim! Whim! I do not understand

your maps of crossroads

and labyrinths.

I resign my whim,

I return it to whom gave it to me.

In good faith I say to you and I write

that I do not want it, I do not

know how to use it, the training wheels

of the fine adornment have gone mad.

Down with the whim! I find myself

in the middle of the night, of the late night,

on the deserted plain

of silence and scream: Take it! Master

of all things,

my whim was unable

to find the paths that take me to you.

It did not see your footprints.

Please accept the return of my whim

due user misuse.